Were You Destined to Be a Wife, Mother, or Professional?

As soon as they can speak, girls are expected to fulfil certain roles. They are given dolls to care for, pretty clothes to wear, and instructions on how to speak etiquette, maintain cleanliness and perform domestic duties.

Each of these is designed to help girls become better (submissive) wives and exceptional mothers.

In the culture in which you were raised, you were destined to become a wife and mother.

However, some girls are motivated by academic and then professional success. These girls, who were raised to achieve high grades and excel in sports and other activities, are motivated by career and financial success.

They may not want children and may choose not to marry, but they lack enthusiasm for their work and feel empty when they return home.

Then, society’s culture tells them, “This is why you should marry and have children in order to be fulfilled!

However, what happens when the children grow up and leave or when the marriage bed becomes cold?

You were not born to be a wife, mother, or professional woman, ladies. No, you were brought up to be a wife, mother, or professional woman. Now is the time to learn the distinction.

How culture undermines women’s power access

In the following ways, culture undermines a woman’s access to power:

  • By conditioning girls to believe that their purpose is childbearing and childrearing. Early on, girls are taught nurturing skills through play. Toys such as dolls and play kitchens help girls develop these skills.
  • By conditioning girls to believe that to be valid, they must be “pretty.” Girls imitate what they see on television and in magazines. This teaches young women that they must be “pretty” to attract a husband.
  • By imposing such a heavy mental burden on women that they cannot move beyond their daily chores. For many women, the mental load is overwhelming and leaves little room for pursuing their passions and purpose.

In essence, culture undermines women’s access to power by confining them to a single role that is assigned by society and not chosen by the woman herself.

Your “container” will prevent you from pursuing your true and unique purpose because you literally do not have time to consider your passions and, therefore, your unique purpose and capacity to make an impact.

What If Being a Wife, Mother, or Professional Woman Brings Me Joy?

Good. Whatever you choose to do with your life, I hope it brings you happiness.

There is no rule stating that a woman cannot love her children and care for them and her spouse while also having a fulfilling career and pursuing her life’s purpose. In fact, there is no rule stating that these objectives cannot be your “sole” objective. I can only suggest that you consider thinking beyond them.

Here’s a fact you won’t hear frequently: Your primary objective in life is to be happy. Everything else you do is subordinate to this one task. You are here to attain happiness.

Being a wife and mother ought to bring you joy. If something does not bring you joy, you should avoid it. Being a woman with a career should make you happy. If it does not bring you joy, you should alter it.

I do not want you to cease doing what brings you joy. In fact, I wish for you the opposite.

Nine Tips for Discovering Your Life’s Purpose

I believe you have a purpose in life, as do we all. Since you are the only person on the planet with your exact combination of nature and nurture, it seems obvious and logical that you must be capable of providing a unique value that no one else can provide. This unique value is your life’s purpose, the gift that only you can give the world, and it is inextricably linked to who you are as an individual.

I began my legal career as an estate planning attorney who worked with the ultra-wealthy and assisted them in planning for their demise while minimising their tax liability. It is commonly said that death and taxes are the only two certainties in life.

In my experience, conversations about the meaning of life or one’s life purpose are even more taboo than those about money and death, which many consider being taboo topics. I cannot think of anything more crucial than discovering one’s life’s purpose. I am so convinced of its significance that I gave up estate planning years ago to build a business that assists individuals in discovering their life purpose and designing life to ensure its fulfilment. I have spent the majority of my life and professional career pondering and asking this question: What does life purpose mean, and more importantly, how does one discover and achieve it?

It has been a long journey to reach this point, and here are some of the lessons I have learned along the way.

1. Your life’s purpose is greater than any problem or circumstance that can be solved.

Your life’s purpose cannot be based on resolving a specific problem or a circumstance that could potentially change. Otherwise, your purpose could end while you are still alive, and your life would have no meaning or purpose. For instance, some may believe that curing cancer is their life’s purpose. The discovery of a cure for cancer may represent their life’s purpose and be a significant milestone along their journey, but their life’s purpose is broader and transcends cancer. The same holds true for doctors and scientists. Nobody is “born” to be a doctor or scientist, but their life’s purpose may be fulfilled, at least temporarily, by pursuing these careers. Understanding the distinction between your life purpose and the opportunities that fulfil your life purpose is essential because life circumstances and opportunities change over time. That does not, however, mean that your purpose no longer exists.

2. Your life purpose is a journey, not a destination.
You cannot define your life’s purpose today, nor will you ever fully understand or accomplish it during your lifetime. Once your life has ended and we have the benefit of hindsight, we will be able to say, “This is what that person’s life meant.” However, if we are unable to foresee our life’s purpose, how can we live in pursuit of achieving it? How do we design our lives and make the best decisions that lead to achieving our life’s purpose? The answer is that we utilise the puzzle pieces we have and follow life’s hints. The remaining lessons are puzzle pieces that we all possess and can implement.

3. Utilize your strengths.
We are incapable of being everything to everyone. Utilize the natural talents and abilities with which you were born. Develop your natural talents into abilities through study, exercise, and practice. There is nothing wrong with attempting to acquire new skills, but it is likely that you were born with the talents necessary to fulfil your life purpose.

4. Pursue your passions.
Whatever the reason, we all have a passion for certain aspects of life. To fulfil your life’s purpose, you must immerse yourself in whatever it is, which means it must be something you are passionate about. Otherwise, you will be condemned to do something that ultimately makes you miserable and resentful, making it impossible for you to perform at your highest level. Your objective cannot be something you will resent or resist, which brings me to my next point.

5. Do what brings you joy.
Living your life’s purpose will bring you happiness and a sense of fulfilment. Clearly, if you are unhappy or feel incomplete in your life, you are not living your purpose. The majority of responses to the question “what is the meaning of life?” will centre on happiness. Positive Psychology, the study of happiness or well-being, attributes the following five components to well-being: positive feelings, engagement, relationships, meaning (or purpose), and accomplishments. When you dedicate your life to pursuing your life’s purpose, you naturally achieve and enhance each of these elements.

6. Go where help is required.
Opportunity is the most illuminating indicator of one’s life purpose. Ultimately, a purpose must be served. You must discover a need that you must fulfil. Unfortunately, you cannot choose where you are needed most. The opportunities you have in life indicate where you are needed in the world. The trick is to choose opportunities that align optimally with your talents, skills, and interests. Opportunity is challenging because you must frequently initiate it. In other words, you must knock on certain doors (sometimes multiple times) before you realise they are open. However, whether that door ultimately opens depends on someone allowing you to enter; the ultimate decision is always beyond your control.

7. Concentrate on what you can influence.
If there is one lesson I have learned repeatedly throughout my life, it is that you can only control yourself. You cannot control the results of your actions, regardless of how hard you try or how much your actions are based on intended or anticipated outcomes. All we can do in life is exert our greatest effort. This entails cultivating your mind, body, and spirit to reach your fullest potential and acting with the highest of intentions at all times. Good intentions and constant self-improvement pave the way to living your life’s purpose.

8. Accept your creative side.
Everyone is capable of creating something original and valuable to the world. These two characteristics, originality and worth, comprise the definition of creativity. You are original and valuable to the world by nature. That means you are a walking, talking example of originality, and it’s time you started embracing that reality. I am not referring to artistic ability, which is one form of creativity. I am referring to utilising the unique lens through which you view the world and the value that can be added by your perspective. When you concentrate on developing your talents and immerse yourself in your interests, creativity comes naturally.

9. Listen to your inspiration.
You cannot choose your life’s purpose any more than you can choose your thoughts. Because it feels so unintentional, the creative process has always captivated me. You are compelled to create something rather than choosing to do so. Whether it is a melody, a painting, an invention, or a business idea, the inspiration seems to emanate from a magical place that feels both a part of you and separate from you. It is as if you were looking in a mirror and your reflection suddenly instructed you to say or do something. This is referred to as your muse because it is your inspiration.

Get to know your inspiration. Determine what your muse is expressing through you, as well as what it stands for. Most importantly, listen when your muse speaks. I cannot count the number of times I have had to pull over in order to jot down a sudden inspiration. These are crucial times. Give your full attention.

How to Turn Around a Bad Day

First: one of my big go-tos to turn around a bad day is exercise. I can already hear the groan from some of you, ugh, exercise, nooooo. And so I wanted to say that when I am trying to turn around a bad day, I actually don’t feel motivated to exercise the way I do on a day that’s running smoothly. I feel resistant, I don’t wannnnna, I don’t feel like it, all of that, just like any other human being. But I make myself do it, because I find that 20 minutes or so of just getting into a workout often creates a “break” of some kind between ruminative thoughts about why life happens to suck at the moment. I’m into CrossFit—I find that intense exercise helps me turn off my brain a bit more because I have no choice but to focus on the workout—but I’ve had success also with going for a long walk or doing some push ups. There are numerous studies that exist showing positive connections between exercise, and alleviation of depression or anxiety and they’re easy to look up if you want to see the research basis for this.

Second: I try to really pay attention to the impulses to do things that I know aren’t going to help. For instance, when I’m sad, yeah, my thoughts turn to having a glass of wine, or sugar. I pay attention to that and in fact what I do is try to get metacognitive about it, sort of observing the observer. I’ll notice myself think, “Ah, glass of rose would be great right now,” and then I’ll think, “How interesting that today has been a sad day and suddenly you’re craving alcohol. Interesting to notice that false desire—alcohol won’t solve this.” I’ll do the same thing with sweets. By no means am I perfect about this, by the way, but it’s been a helpful practice to consciously and intentionally remind myself that giving in to sugar or alcohol—or disappearing into TikTok or numbing out in some other way—won’t actually help.

Third: another big go-to is to try to do something really nice or helpful to make someone else’s day better. Can I take a chore off of my husband’s plate? Can I be extra nice to that person I see when I’m out walking the dog? Can I offer to help someone with something? Because any of those things create a feeling for me of connection, and usefulness. I like feeling connected, I like feeling useful, and when I can create those feelings I generally feel better. Bonus, it helps someone else, which is also great!

Fourth: I’ll process out anger or sadness. Literally, I’ll scream into a pillow, or try to consciously cry, to get to the root of some feelings. Sometimes I think that our feelings don’t always need to be intellectualized. Sometimes I think they just need to be fully, and completely, felt.

Source: www.yourcourageouslife.com/how-to-turn-around-a-bad-day/